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A love letter to the self, from the self

When something explodes in your heart center, the power of that feeling can bring you to your knees. It can’t be labeled good or bad, it just is this pure force running through you. It’s grief and it’s acceptance, that comes for many reasons, but usually the catalyst is a loss.

When you find yourself saying  “I love you, goodbye,” it so profound and excruciating that it could not be spoken of. In order to make room for something new, you have create space in your heart. When you realise you’re standing in your own way, the version you are and the version you will become have to meet and mutually agree to part ways.

Only one can stay.

It’s pure love, because it’s the soul acknowledging its own growth. And it’s devastating because one version of you has to fade away to allow that growth to happen.

Nothing can stay the same forever and when an expansion of our very being takes hold, the harder we grip what was, the more painful the transformation becomes. If we don’t buy new clothes to fit, the very seams will tear apart. We claw for the tatters of what we had, but now they don’t quite fit anymore and nothing feels like it once did.

We stand in what feels like a glaring spotlight, just trying to cover our exposed depths with the remnants of a cloth that is no longer cut for us.

To throw the rags in the air and declare ourselves new and reborn is to be vulnerable to the world.

Stepping into the new skin of our next chapter is akin to running to the end of a cliff and flinging ourselves off the edge and knowing that if we don’t trust that we will be caught by the universe, we will forever be standing on the edge of the cliff, trembling at its potential depth.

Our identity is a precious projection cultivated over years and we can incarnate a new version of this several times over a life. But we can only have an identity that resonates from a cellular level. It needs to come from the very core of who we are.

To have the courage to look yourself in the metaphoric eye and say “I am ready to leave you here, at this point of my life, because I need to be different now,” is like accepting a death of the truest love.

But from the death of one’s sense of self, comes the rebirth of another incarnation, that can utilize all the learning her previous self has done and be better.

It has to be better.

Fear becomes part of our identity and it’s the very things we don’t understand that scare us into submission. They keep us paralyzed in a limbo of life that creates disease and depression. Without grieving the loss of our comfortable place, we cannot embrace the fear, the very thing our soul needs to overcome. We cover our face and cower, blocking the light that could light up every corner of us.

To turn our faces toward the blinding light of life and releasing that which can no longer serve us, we make sure the shadows fall behind us and our whole being is over filled with a new sense of purpose.

That expansive and an inexplicable burst of energy is our hearts scream to be filled and those tears that trickle hot from ours eyes are there to wash away our pain.A little bit of your heart will be freed up to create a space that longs to be filled.

And one last thing before we part ways, I love you, goodbye.

2019-01-09T05:10:04+00:00